Finding Your Purpose In Life – Why Are You Here? Image from Sommai
Image from Sommai

I believe many things about life that most people might think philosophical.

I believe that everyone that comes into your life comes for a reason.

I believe there’s a time and a season for everything and change is inevitable, no matter what the result, good or bad or pain involved.

I was thinking today about why so many people have come and gone in my life and each time I have to fall back on the above beliefs.

I discovered this years ago through hard lessons and pain.  Maybe that’s when why and what we are here for is revealed to us.

It’s a time when we’re supposed to understand a lesson or situation and learn from it in some way, shape or other. For good or bad, certain people have entered your life and  made an impact.

I know many people contemplate this question ‘why are we here?’, especially as we go through the trials and tribulations of life and business.  Many people never know.

But I know.  I know I am I am here to serve others and I’ve found that out the hard way, through life’s trials and lessons.

Serving Others In Life

One life lesson I experienced involved a person whom I cared about deeply in our relationship.  When we met he was going through an emotional life experience hinself.  As a police officer, he was involved in a shoot-out and faced with a life and death situation – his or the criminal – kill or be killed!

Probably one of the most horrifying experiences a person would have to go through.  Face to face – me or him!    He came into my life at this time and he was suffering, obviously because he was alive and well…you know…the other person was not.

He was suffering and wondering why he had to take a life. I used to wonder why he was a police officer because he was such a gentle spirit and soul.  I remember deep and philosophical talks about the *why* of such a situation.

In one conversation, words came to me, unbidden.  Words along the lines of  ‘you don’t know why God put you here or why it went down the way it went down.’  Maybe, if this dangerous criminal had survived, he could have been a mass murderer, killed women and children, been a terrorist – who knows but God.  We just don’t know.

But my words were “God puts law enforcement on this earth to protect the innocent and he gives them spirits like yours to ensure that we are protected and that you yourself do not become criminal-like minded with such power in your hands.”

This seemed to comfort him in our time together and we had many such conversations.  That was over 12+ years ago.

Four years after this conversation we went our separate ways and it devastated me. I didn’t understand why I had to suffer through that loss.  It was an emotionally crippling time for me and I didn’t think I’d survive it.  Yes, maybe over-dramatic, but that’s how I felt.

Of course, we all get through as I did and one day, years later, I started thinking ‘why did I have to go through that pain?’

Image by Ambro
Image by Ambro

The answer came back “It was not about you.”  I immediately knew what that meant.   That time I spent with him was to boost him up, to get him past his pain so that he could continue with what he needed to do in this life; in his important role in life.

It was about comforting another person, lending him strength and experience to get him through.  I learned it was not about me!

Wow! What a life changing revelation!  A sense of peace came over me as I accepted that statement as truth and understood what a scary and awesome responsibility that was.

Seem unfair?  Yeah, I guess, but I do not argue with God’s plan.  This was the beginning of my learning to serve.  See many people think it’s about ‘serving’ in church.  I think it’s about serving people in life!

I can relay this to another situation as well.  Friends that have come and gone where there are painful break-us.  A sister-friend who now goes on through her life as if our past 17 years of sisterhood, sharing and love didn’t mean a thing.  It makes me incredibly sad.

However, when I look back, I now know it was a similar situation.  When we met she was going through a difficult time in her life.   We developed into fast friends, family-like.  Her walking away without an explanation was like a betrayal that hurt to the core (still does), but I know now, if not then, that it was never about me.   It was about getting her through.

Now I recognize these situations  for what they are.  It’s about me being there to serve, learning how to be a better person and growing into a complete and understanding being.

A selfish way of thinking would be ‘when do I get mine?’  What do I get out of it?  I don’t know…maybe soon…maybe never.  But what’s important is that we do serve others and help others to learn, to grow, and to experience life better.

I think we always have to get out of the ‘what about me mode-of-life.’  We have to look for deeper meanings on why we go through bad times. 

The Bad News

The bad news is it can be painful and hard for us during that time.  The bad news is we may not always know when we’re going through a  *life lesson experience.*

The Good News

The good news is when you ask the question why – the answer will come back.  For me, it was always ‘to serve and accept’ and in serving understanding that life, pain and experiences are not always about me, even though I feel I’m going through it at the time.

The good news is I’ve always learned, become a better person and enhanced my life.  Always good things, peace and fortune have come to me because I have accepted that in my learning, I can continue to give and serve others.

Serving Others In Business

So what’s this have to do with business.  In learning to serve, I have come to Internet Marketing and blogging.  Millions of people are online looking for help to make money, to grow their business, to change their lives for the better.

My life experiences and empathy helps me to easily identify their needs, be sympathetic to them, and to serve by supplying that need.  Empathy is necessary in business and you will be successful if you use this unique gift to help others.

Have you ever wondered why you are here?  How have you gone about finding your purpose in life?  Have your life experiences taught you your purpose in life?  If you feel comfortable, please share what you think your purpose is here on earth?  Have you found it yet?  Would love to hear so we can all grow.

God Bless,

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  1. says

    Hey Barbara,

    I was just talking to a prospect on the phone and explaining to her how blogging really worked and without me even saying it she said, “oh so we can serve and help others”. I thought this is one smart lady. This is not about us, it’s about helping others.

    Unfortunately, I’ve had some of the same experiences you have and as you know, some of my relationships lasted well over 25 years yet ended abruptly. Funny thing is though, I was the one that ended them. I just learned over the years to only have people in my life that are there for me as well and it’s not always one sided. I also learned some time back that God wants only the best for me so when it was time to cut those strings I didn’t look back nor did I regret that decision. I knew who was the main ingredient in those relationships. lol…

    When we help others it’s the best feeling in the world. I get up everyday happy and ready to see who I can help today. That’s really the best feeling ever. If more people have that mindset they’ll go a very very long way.

    Thanks for sharing this with us and I hope you have a wonderful week.

    Adrienne recently posted…The Death of TweetDeck v0.38.2My Profile

    • says

      Hi Adrienne,
      We are here to serve – absolutely! And it’s amazing that this lady you just talked to get it right away! Amazing Cause I know most people don’t get it. I know you and I have suffered similar issues with people who have been dear to us. Whether we ended the relationship or not is irrelevant to me. Sometimes we have to step away for our best interest. But I love that we have learned that it’s about helping others. I’m like you. I feel so good when I can help someone get the help they need. I am here to serve. I think we should ask that daily. How may I help you. The world would be a better place if everyone said that at least once to one person! Wouldn’t that be something!

      As usual I hope this has some small impact on someone’s life to help them in some way.

      Keep doing what you’re doing and we will continue to be blessed!

      Lov ya ladybug,

  2. says

    What a beautiful post. As I read through it, I felt like the words came from a higher source! Really.
    I have asked myself why I am here and the answer is so darn simple. To Love. As we extend ourselves to others, they may leave, they may grow. But you really don’t know. What you do know is that giving to another human in any capacity, weather large or small, is teaching by example.
    Well, as a Christian, it is my core belief. It is just the way I live. I can write a series of books of how others have hurt me. But you know what? I went through the pain then the process of forgiveness. And that is the best part. “Forgive them for they not know what they do.” That gets me through hard times.

    So what the heck does this have to do with business? EVERYTHING! The more we give without wanting return, the more we are blessed. What we are really doing is teaching others to create a peaceful planet. It all ties in I believe. People often ask me “why are you helping me so much?” or “why are you giving me extra time?” Answer: Because you need it. Hopefully they will learn by example and do the same for another person.

    I came to online marketing as a forerunner for my clients. They were having so much trouble with family, finances, dead end jobs. I poked around and found a passion. Now I share it with them and some came on board. Some even quit their jobs because of their success.

    Never stop giving,
    Donna Merrill recently posted…Is Your Spouse Supportive Of Online Business?My Profile

    • says

      Thanks so much Donna for sharing your feelings with us. I know you as a giving and loving person and I can’t imagine anything else coming from you.

      I think people make it to complicated when they as ‘what am I here for.’ I think people expect some awe-inspiring answer to help them change the world when it is usually as simple as ‘to love’ or ‘to serve.’ People search for ‘the answer’ all of their lives when it’s really right before us usually in the things we do everyday. But because we do it everything sometimes we miss it.

      I definitely notice nowadays how people are drawn to those who serve and who love without question. It is God’s way and we can be nothing but rewarded with a good life. That’s my belief anyway. 🙂

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your experience too Donna.
      God Bless,
      Barbara Charles recently posted…Finding Your Purpose In Life – Why Are You Here?My Profile

  3. says

    Hi Barbara

    Like Donna said what a beautiful post! I also share the same belief as you that everyone that comes into your life comes for a reason. I like that quote “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” For most of us and for most of the people who are or have been in our life it is for a reason or a season – and I think the season still has it’s reason.

    I read a book many years ago now called something like “What others think of you is none of your business”. It was a very difficult concept for me to buy but now I totally get it. it helps when someone leaves your life like you have experienced. It is about them and not about us.

    I have asked myself many times why am I here and I have changed my mind several times. It usually comes back to me being all that I can be and helping others be the same.

    That really is an awesome post Barbara.

    Sue Price recently posted…Can a Book Change Lives?My Profile

    • says

      Hi Sue,
      Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughts. Although it’s happened several times in my life, it is hard to accept ‘people come into your life for a season’ because many times when they leave it is an emotional experience. Those who have been somewhat enlightened can look at it objectively through the pain and recognize it for what it is – a time to move on and take what you could as a learning experience or life lesson. Not always easy, but unfortunately necessary for growth in our lives.

      Thank you for sharing why you think you are hear. Maybe I’ll compile a list so that people understand what they’re looking for when they ask that question. As I mentioned before, it’s usually something very simple, but it is always powerful to the person it reveals itself too.

      Thanks again Sue,

  4. says

    I enjoyed your post Barbara.

    For years I thought that I just had to know what my purpose was before I felt I could be happy. But thinking I had to figure it out and at the same time not allowing myself to know caused a state of duality in my mind and duality caused confusion. If I only knew when I started down my journey of self-discovery and self-growth that my life purpose in each moment was simply to manifest my desires and grow, I would have seen the success along the way, instead of constantly succeeding and questioning, for what purpose? What is the meaning in succeeding if you don’t know your purpose is simply.. to grow? The truth is, I did know my purpose! My purpose has been with me for years 🙂

    • says

      Hi Rachel.
      Thanks for stopping by my blog.

      You are so right! I just mentioned to someone that we sometimes overthink ‘what is our purpose’ when many times it’s right before our eyes. We are just looking for some deep routed ‘awe’ inspiring revelation when it’s usually things like ‘to grow’ as with you or to ‘to serve’ as with me. Another friend it was simply ‘to love.’

      Finding our purpose is just taking a good look at ourselves and see what we do naturally and we will find the answer.

      Thanks again for stopping by.
      Have a blessed one,

  5. says

    Hi Barbara,

    This is a really spiritual post and I’m glad that even in my busy days such as right now, I still feel that I owe it to the people who visit my blog to come to theirs. That’s how I didn’t miss this beautiful post 🙂

    Having had a mother that served others to the extreme, I never had any problem to serve others. Actually, I’ve been used a lot for that reason. People can feel it when you’re someone who gives, you know.

    Meditating on what you’re saying I can tell that I’ve been there for people and some people have been there for me. No it’s not all about us for sure.

    For some reasons it seems that a force prevented me from being there for my mother, and my brother because of his own doing (in part anyway) has all the burden. This is something I’m still meditating about until I get the answer… it’s a long story that got us there.

    Thank you for this beautiful post!
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted…5 Ways To Prevent Your Love For Blogging From Wearing Off?My Profile

    • says

      Thank you Sylviane. As the queen of Attraction Marketing and spirituality I take your praise as a awesome. Yes those who serve do get ‘used’ in some senses, sometimes more than others, but it is because of a giving spirit. The fault is not with us to serve, it is with others who sometimes abuse the priviledges of receiving. I think sometimes the answers may come slowly. In our meditation to find the answers to the ‘why’ we may not be ready for the answer so I think the Universe waits until we are before we get answers. I know for me ‘when I ask why’ sometimes it’s years before I know, but the ‘knowing’ will come. You will always get an answer from your meditation at a time when we are ready to accept it. And sometimes other people make their own burdens and there is nothing we can do about it. It may not be about us. Maybe this is *his* learning experience and he is supposed to get something out of this. Sometimes truly it is not about us. Thank you for liking the post.
      God Bless,
      Barbara Charles recently posted…Does Blogging Work To Brand Yourself?My Profile

  6. says


    When it comes to life purpose we all have two alternatives: 1) to believe we came here on this Earth with a purpose and 2) we are here by chance, we are not born with a purpose and we can choose one as we please. It seems you have chosen the first alternative. In my opinion this is the best.
    When you choose no.1 all the rest is much easier and everything falls into place … in time. You will also get the power to endure any hardships and overcome any obstacles. You will resist and conquer Time.
    When you choose no.2 it is very hard. You are let alone with no solid anchors to help you survive the hurricanes. You can easily be thrown away and become like dust blown by the wind.
    In my opinion there is purpose, there is meaning and there is hope. Seen in this light, life deserves to be lived. Your person is important and your whole life can make a difference. So you have made the right choice.
    No need to ask anymore. Just go on with your life , help and serve. You will be helped and served , too.
    Silviu recently posted…How to Activate Windows When the Key is BlockedMy Profile

  7. says

    I totally agree with your take on service to others being the reason we are here at all. My purpose, which I chose myself, is to share my story with others so they can stand up for themselves. Being able to say no to other peoples opinions, judgments and reactions to me, has helped me serve others.

    I grew up with a physical disability and learned, the hard way, not to let negative opinions, judgments and reactions stop me.

    And yes, sometimes the pain of getting there is intense! Unfortunately, I have found it necessary to live through the pain to get to the gain!

    • says

      Hi Arla,

      I find this world hard to live in especially when people have to fight for themselves when *life* is out of our control, in other words, when we can’t control what we are born with whether it’s a physical disability or a life situation, etc.

      Maybe that’s what Heaven really is. Where everyone lives to serve, where there are no opinions, judgments or reactions to people and their own inconsistencies and problems.

      I admire people who like you, share your story because although it doesn’t touch everyone, it will touch the right person or people. The ones who need to hear it so that they can move on with their lives or be encouraged by your story!

      And as you’ve learned, as have I, that the pain may be intense for us, but we will be rewarded when we can pass that learning experience on to others and gain new understanding for ourselves. Sometimes a tough road, sad but true but so rewarding in the end.

      Thank you for sharing,
      God Bless and have a fabulous Memorial Day Week-end!

  8. says

    Hi Barbara,
    I really enjoyed reading this. I can sense your heart through your words…so this raised a thought.

    What if those experiences were about you too? I mean – they made an impact – enough of one to enable you to create such a beautiful post for the rest of us to appreciate and relate to.

    An interesting perspective I was fortunate to come across mentioned something about how our physical minds only see the world from the ground we’re standing on – while the higher mind sees everything from the mountain top. I guess we can all draw our own conclusions from that – but the one I’ll use here is that it seems that every minute detail that occurs appears to be on purpose – even if we aren’t aware of how that is.
    Adrienne sent me here. She’s cool like that 😉
    I really loved the post and I look forward to browsing your site.
    Dana recently posted…Should Appearance Determine Self-Worth?My Profile

    • says

      Hi Dana,

      How are you and thank you for visiting my site. Yes and Adrienne is cool like that! Love her to death!

      I do understand what you’re thinking and in many ways you could be right in that people looking in may see that I learned something myself from the relationship and that would be true. Of course I think I learned something even if I thought about how far I have come myself in my growth as a human being.

      I love what you said about our “physical minds only see the world from where we’re standing, but our higher mind sees everything from the mountain top.” How awesome is that! I guess that’s how I’d like to think of my life experiences and each and everyone *is* definitely that everything is as it appears on purpose. Everything happens for a reason. Everything! And when we know that in our hearts, then everything that happens, good and bad, means something and just knowing that can get us through. At least for me! 🙂

      I will enjoy our future discussions I sure. So profound! Adrienne – thank you too! 🙂
      God Bless and have a great week,

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